Give Me Time Machinery

 

            the making and searing

the first memory          deer crosses                 glowworms      paranoia

            a thick cloud before the swim        a hot tennis game

a lean back and think about love

                       

and how do we reconcile         suicide slut shames

                                                drumming a cage                     of our own meaning?

It’s for our own good                           the second memory

                                    thick BullFrog sunblock          druggy dithyrambs

                        pulling stained scarves                   from the sweet-smelling drawer

pubic hair peeking       from under our velvet bikinis.

 

                                                                                    I finished the book of Joan Crawford

                                                                        three small sleeping pills

                                                                                    I wanted some safety in days.

                                                            You said eat all the ice cream               in plastic ball caps

                                                                                    that the walking would slim me

                                                                        and maybe the father               could be our matrix

                                                                                    hot thump geography

                                                                        cheap instant coffee.

                                                                                    He’ll storm. It will pass

 

            and the white van full of girlparts

will roll by so slowly    where getting married in the morning

                        will seem like a black dream

 

where I will worry my writing        four strawberry shortcakes

shut the door widow-lipped     and chemically backlit

where your heart will kind of destroy me.

 

 

 

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