the making and searing
the first memory deer crosses glowworms paranoia
a thick cloud before the swim a hot tennis game
a lean back and think about love
and how do we reconcile suicide slut shames
drumming a cage of our own meaning?
It’s for our own good the second memory
thick BullFrog sunblock druggy dithyrambs
pulling stained scarves from the sweet-smelling drawer
pubic hair peeking from under our velvet bikinis.
I finished the book of Joan Crawford
three small sleeping pills
I wanted some safety in days.
You said eat all the ice cream in plastic ball caps
that the walking would slim me
and maybe the father could be our matrix
hot thump geography
cheap instant coffee.
He’ll storm. It will pass
and the white van full of girlparts
will roll by so slowly where getting married in the morning
will seem like a black dream
where I will worry my writing four strawberry shortcakes
shut the door widow-lipped and chemically backlit
where your heart will kind of destroy me.