C-Section by Alexa Doran


Sometimes when the room is made of oak

and I am made of flesh

the room and I mix like air and incense : our fusion a funnel of smoke

That’s how you left my body, Buggy

Cloud ladled out of me.

All the other babies

puddling between their mothers’ thighs

while you rose like any rainbow

a fountain of every light / but your own

Unfettered flume!

the sky spread into a cape around you

*It was better not to touch you

*It was better that the room was white and used

*That the surgeon whispered trippy as he felt the willow weight of you

Like all those plump bastards, young and hanging

from Michelangelo’s roof

you were cherub chiseled in the ceiling

and I was artist-peasant-falling

beneath you

Son to say I was afraid

of the star cough covered in blood/of the birth of my son/of giving gravity its due

to say that I cannot huff and puff

enough to keep you afloat

is a version of the truth that never reaches you like blades

that rotate on a fan

all you hear is my breath below choo choo choo choo

Alexa Doran is a mother, a lyrical gangster, and a PhD student at FSU. She has recently been featured or is forthcoming in CALYX, The Pinch, Gertrude Press, The Dr. T.J. Eckleburg Review, Juked, Connotation Press, and Posit literary magazines. One of her poems about Dada artist Emmy Hennings recently won first place in the Sidney Lanier Poetry competition.

#poetry #alexadoran #motherhood #freeverse